The very first thing to do is to know what envy is and that we must always remember that the problem is theirs and not ours. As already mentioned in this article, envy can reach extremely pathological levels and, consequently, it is very important to know how to defend yourself in the most appropriate way possible.
How to protect yourself against envious people
They do not give pleasure , Try to belittle your success, They give a lot of compliments, Always speak badly of others, They expect the worst, They have no empathy, they take away your energy, they can’t stand the successes of others, they have few friends, they always blame others, they are bored
It is important to understand that often the envy we arouse in others does not depend on how much money we have or on the latest model of phone we bought. People are often envious of our way of dealing with life as a whole, in good times and bad times.
A brilliant person, who does not give up and who laughs instead of getting angry, attracts much more envy, perhaps , of someone who has a fairytale home.
It sounds trivial but it is better to do nothing when you are angry. Yes, because you imagine your co-worker talking badly about you to the boss. Who wouldn’t be infuriated? Or that acquaintance who left you an unpleasant comment on your favorite social network?
Better act cunning.
I remember reading in a book (the title and the author escapes me but I promise you a post about it when I find out!) That said this about unpleasant comments on social media: my wife always tells me that if she finds throw away a poop in the living room , why don’t I do it too?
Unfortunately, there is not always the possibility of turning around and leaving or deleting a contact on social media. But it is important to know in the first instance that when it is possible, it must be done!
An envious person does not change unless he realizes it and begins a journey of self-discovery. In any case, you are not their therapist, nor their mom, nor their dad. Accept also the fact that you can’t please everyone, get over it!
After putting all of the above points in place, if you are here, chances are you just can’t avoid this envious person. What to do then? Ignore her!
“Ignore” doesn’t mean avoiding greeting her or being courteous. Here the verb takes on a profound meaning: the confidence you place in yourself, the awareness that your successes have been built step by step with passion and intensity must lead you to ignore this type of people on an emotional level. I know, it’s not easy!
Each of us has learned from an early age to express emotions differently depending on the environment and / or the people with whom he is in contact.
Now let’s pretend that you have had a promotion at work:
1) You can tell your mom that you are the coolest in the universe, you can do it!
2) You can tell your boss that this promotion represents a new challenge for you and that you are happy to accept it.
3) To your best and true friends … well here I would have many proposals but feel free to choose something that contains the word “vodka”
4) To your envious colleague, none of the first three!!! Persevere with a humble and determined attitude at the same time.
If you can’t run away, try addressing the subject. Certainly not when you are angry or nervous, the white and gray striped dress does not suit you, it is a bad outfit.
Talk to this person the way you would like them to talk to you, using kindness and empathy.
Don’t tell him “what the hell are you always putting me in a bad light with the boss?” it might cause an unkind reaction. Approaching the person in an abrupt and rude way will cause a defensive reaction that is equally, if not harder. If you choose a kinder approach, you will have a better chance of getting a response that is more oriented towards understanding your position and recognizing how you feel. For example, a statement you could use in this case could be “I’m sorry when you tell the boss about things I do wrong and this is ruining our relationship, which I wish it were positive”.
The example I have given you always applies, on every occasion: family, friends, acquaintances!
There isn’t much to add at this point. It speaks for itself. I invite you to spend quality time with people who love and encourage you. They are all those relationships where the exchange is balanced. You know what they are so why do you insist on giving too much attention to those who don’t deserve them?
This is a fundamental point. If your personal identity is limping, it means that your identity is also following the same step. Both feed continuously to allow you to have self-confidence, enthusiasm and a social network ready to encourage you.
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